Selfish
by loveanisoka
Summary: One-shot. Ahsoka finds the death of her Master and then she finds a diary. I speak spanish sorry for the grammar


**Selfish**

**This is a little story about Ahsoka remembering the moments that she had had with her Master, I own nothing only some parts of the guide line. Enjoy and this is a one shot history.**

Sorry Master, because I failed you as always, sorry Master because I wasn´t the perfect Padawan, I´m so sorry Master because if I had known this would happen I promise you that I had never left you. But is late now, you are not here longer, and all is my fault, why I was so selfish? The day when I was walking away from your side and you told me, what about me? My only and selfish answer I gave you was: it is not about you Anakin, is about me. Oh man, I was so wrong; I never stopped to think about you, that moment was only me. Why? If I had known that every step I gave down the stairs were ripping your heart in two, you felt weak and incomplete without me. I knew it, but you didn´t try to stop me because you were looking for my happiness and you were ignoring your own. You were so selfless, why I wasn´t like you? Master, now I´m missing you, I miss when you hugged me, when we came back from the battle front because I was… I am very weak and I started to cry for the lives we lost in the battle, you hugged me and I started to cry in your arms, even if I have 16 years, you still held me when I cried, I knew you were hurt because the deaths of our men but you put it away like the other things about yourself only for me. I was so selfish.

When we were on Felucia and we ran out of food and water, I was hungry and you gave me your last piece of meat, I was hungry, you were starving. When I had no more water, you gave me yours. I was thirsty, you were dehydrated. When we were fighting and a droid came for me, my total focus was in the battle and the droid fired… You pushed me and you took the shot besides me, the shot made you scream in pain, it went into your arm. You saved my life, that shot could have killed me. When I was sick and you stayed all the day with me; you didn´t want to leave my side, you didn´t sleep that week, you were so tired. When I was afraid for a nightmare and you were on my side all the night until I fell asleep but you didn´t because you were so worried that if I had another nightmare you could be in my side to let me know that everything was alright. When I told you that the another girls made fun of me because I haven´t had my first kiss, you approached me and you kissed me, you were my first kiss and when the first time we met and I made imprudent things but you took me as your Padawan, and after all I left you. I was so selfish.

I still holding a photo my Master had, in it I can see a wide smile on my Master´s face and I am in his side. He has a hand on my hip and I have a hand over his shoulder… The Masters called me to come to take my Master´s things from his quarters...These quarters were ours. When somebody said Anakin other replied Ahsoka, when other said Ahsoka another replied Anakin. Anakin and Ahsoka are eating, we. Ahsoka and Anakin are laughing, we. That couldn´t be an Ahsoka is eating or an Anakin is laughing. No it isn´t the same, we made all together. If we were away from each other almost a week we were driven crazy, cause everything was we, never she or he. Never was it like this until I left, I was so selfish.

I continue searching and I find a diary, my Master´s diary. Why he had a diary? I didn´t pay much attention on it and even if the curiosity was killing me I won´t open it. But a letter fell from it and I took it. I read the front of it and there was my name, I can recognize Anakin´s handwriting so I open the letter, I started to read:

_Dear Ahsoka,_

_I know you will find this, I don´t know when or where but I want you to take this diary with you, I know if something happens to me and I can´t come back, the Council will send you to take my things and if they don´t sent you and they sent Obi-Wan and he is reading this, stop reading this old man! This is between my Pada… My former Padawan and me…_

Why I still call him Master? Because he always going to be my Master.

_Well but if you (Ahsoka) are reading this keep reading, why I left you a diary? Because when you leave me I needed a way to take off all the thoughts about you, so I bought this diary to write my life in it like if I am with you, so you can know how my life is going on, now I have another surprise to you. Go to the box where you get this diary and inside it you will find another box, open it and until you didn´t open it, stop reading._

I raised an eyemark, he was a very rare man but I will follow the instructions he gave me. I went where the box was and I search in it and I found the box my Master was talking about, I open it and I gasped. I saw my lightsabers and my Padawan braid, I stare in shock at the box, and how he can recuperate my lightsabers? They must be in stealers hands but no, there they are.

I remember the letter and continue reading:

_-I hope you like it, I had to travel to Tatooine for your lightsaber and I had to travel to Hoth for your shoto, it was difficult but not impossible. The Padawan braid, I know you aren´t a Padawan any longer but this is a symbol that you always gonna be my Padawan. _

My Master is wrong, he died because of me. He hadn´t have someone who watched his back, Dooku stood behind him and when my Master turned around, Dooku stabbed him in the chest. He killed my Master, if he only had someone who watched his back this would never happened, if he would had me st his side,nothing of this would ever happened, I´m selfish.

_I want you to open the diary and read it, there is the reason why I didn´t break up when you left the Order. You will find why I haven´t turned to the Dark Side._

_Anyways, May the Force be with you, Snips_

_Anakin Skywalker ¨Skyguy¨ _

I almost cried when I read Skyguy, the name I gave him so many years ago. He hated it but later he started to love it.

I started to open the diary, slowly with fear because I don´t know what I can find there. When I open the first page I almost broke up in tears there said:

_She will come back, she will._

_She will never going to leave me again, she is my heart._

_She never going to let me drown in my misery._

But the last part takes away all the strength from me:

_She loves me._

I start passing the pages and all were the same but the last one said:

_I love you Ahsoka Tano, I love you Snips. I will give you my last breath only for you._

I start crying and yelling, I´m so selfish.

**That's all! Well I hope you like it revieeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww and bye! (Reviewed and corrected some spelling mistakes as grammar ones, 29/04/13)**


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